Saturday, December 31, 2011

I Can Do Better

2011 had a lot of ups and downs. I rang in the New Year on my couch drinking a few Yuenglings while it snowed outside. The roads were too bad to go anywhere, even in a cab. I had fun watching the Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block perform while the ball dropped in Times Square. In February I thought I had found "the one who might be sticking around for awhile." And he did. Until July. I threw out my back in March and gained 15 lbs. over the next few months. I started wearing a beach cover up in the hot days of the summer. It was the only thing that fit and didn't make me feel like a beached whale. And then I was so rudely dumped and lost a few pounds. At the end of July I commiserated with a friend going through a tough time and we became great friends. We ate, we drank, we were merry. And I gained those pounds right back. In August I was able to see one of my best friends get married in wine country. Oh my was the food delicious and plentiful. In September I started my new job going between three schools every day. Each day I was able to get some new and exciting menu item from Erb&Gerb or Panera or Noodles. It was a slippery slope. I wasn't exercising and I was tired each and every day. By the middle of the month, after carrying around a 50-lb laptop for a week, I threw my back out worse than I have ever thrown it out before. This time it included incredible back spasms and sciatica. I couldn't move or even walk to the bathroom. I decided that I wasn't going to play tennis until 2012. And I gained another 5 lbs. I tried getting back into exercising in November, giving the 200-calorie burn per day a shot. I did really well for about 10 days and then relapsed. In December I was going to log at least 10 days in My Food Diary, doubling the amount that I entered in November. I made it to 7 days. I pushed really hard and added another 7 lbs to my body in December. Good winter beers, holiday treats, and superbly bad eating helped along the way. In 2011 I gained a total of 27 lbs. I am officially the largest that I've ever been in my life, eclipsing my wedding weight by 5 lbs. My jeans don't fit. I look like I could line up with Brian Urlacher and the Bear's offensive line and no one would bat an eye. Fleece pants, sports bras, and baggy sweatshirts are my life.

How did this happen? Injury? Gluttony? Laziness? Most likely all of those things. The only option now is to reverse what I've done to myself in 2011.

I can do better. And in 2012 I WILL do better. I have nothing stopping me. I've been having a few "last meals" at local places that I'm going to have to steer clear of in the next few months. I've done this before and I can do it again, but I have to be diligent and stick to the plan, even when I want nommy deliciousness like Noodles or Monkey Sundaes at Grand Old Creamery.

Josh has also decided to work on this goal with me. He joined My Food Diary and is going to stop smoking completely and stop drinking in January. I will be dry in January as well. His goal is to drop 10-15 lbs total. My goal is a little more overwhelming - 55 lbs in all of 2012. I'm sure about 10 days into this I'm going to completely balk, but that's what Josh is here for - to keep me on task even when I beg him to go on a Dairy Queen run. He's a superb cook and will be able to make healthy dinners that might actually include a vegetable or two.

On to the goals:
I'm going to play tennis in January. This was my goal before I tweaked my back in late December and I'm determined to stick to it. I'm also going to run/jog/gimp along at one 5k per month. We're all signed up to do the Polar Dash tomorrow. I just hope I don't puke. The Duluth Inline Half also awaits me in September. I'm definitely worried about this one, but will be rolling around the Metrodome for the next few months with my friend Sten. My goal is simply to finish without any major injuries. I believe that's Sten's goal too!

I know there are going to be hard times ahead. This will not be easy and every day will be a struggle. But I got myself into this mess so I'm the one that's going to have to get myself out of it.

Today I will say goodbye to the mac n cheese at the Wilde Roast Cafe. Then I will pick up my race packet for tomorrow, pick up some warm clothes (30-40 mph wind gusts, ugh!), and bid adieu to my Monkey Sundae buddy.

This evening's festivities include ringing in the new year with some friends. I think being with good friends and sharing laughs is a better way to greet the new year than singing "Step by Step" alone on my couch. 2012 will just have to be a better year - I'm not giving it any other option!

2 comments:

  1. you can do this, friend. the hardest part is getting started. i hope you had a blast at the race!!

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  2. hooray!!! Welcome to Dry January!

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